Parts in Relationships – Alanis Morissette’s “Everything”

A beautiful song about someone seeing and accepting the different parts of ourselves.

Relationships that have this feel safe and loving. However, in order for us to fully accept and trust another’s love as real, our parts might need to feel love from our own Self. For example, as a small child, a part of me felt unable to accept reassurance from a loving adult that I was indeed loved. This part of me already carried a burden and memory of being ignored/unloved so found it hard to trust what was there.

Alanis has been courageous in her own journey of being an openly vulnerable artist. Her own inner work has involved Margaret Paul’s “Inner Bonding”, which, similar to Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy, involves establishing a loving connection between our parts to something bigger than them. In IFS Therapy and ArtIFS, our parts get in touch with the naturally loving and healing Self present in all of us.

If we help our own parts connect to the love that our core Self naturally has for them (and our inner system is harmonious) we are also more able to see what is right for us when it comes to potential/current partners.

The first step, of course, is discovering our parts and this is something artists like Alanis often help us do through sharing of their own creativity.

 

Alanis Morissette – “Everything” Lyrics
Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

I can be an asshole of the grandest kind
I can withhold like it’s going out of style
I can be the moodiest baby and you’ve never met anyone
Who is as negative as I am sometimes
I am the wisest woman you’ve ever met
I am the kindest soul with whom you’ve connected
I have the bravest heart that you’ve ever seen and you’ve never met anyone
Who is as positive as I am sometimes

You see everything you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I’m ashamed
There’s not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here

I blame everyone else and not my own partaking
My passive aggressive-ness can be devastating
I’m terrified and mistrusting and you’ve never met anyone
Who is as closed down as I am sometimes

You see everything you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I’m ashamed
There’s not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here

What I resist persists and speaks louder than I know
What I resist you love no matter how low or high I go
I am the funniest woman that you’ve ever known
I am the dullest woman that you’ve ever known
I’m the most gorgeous woman that you’ve ever known and you’ve never met anyone
Who is as everything as I am sometimes

You see everything you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I’m ashamed
There’s not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here